It IS Well With My Soul

It seems like here lately, my soul has been in turmoil.

My first cancer diagnosis was in May of 2015.  We did the treatments, saw the results, had the surgeries and got a clean bill of health.  But only for a time.  April 2016 brought news that my cancer had returned and metastasized to my spine.  Again we did the treatments, saw the good results, and received another clean bill of health.  Then again, last month round three began.  The cancer returned.  This time in my liver!

Three times in three years.  Is this ever going to end? 

Sometimes it's hard to not grow weary.  These aren't the things I want to be thinking about at the age of 34.  I want to be attending Story Time with my two year old and going on Field Trips with my kindergartner.  I don't want to have to be scheduling chemo around these events.  Or having to find sitters in case I won't be back in time to welcome my son home from school.  I constantly feel an urgency.  An urgency to make these memories, to scrapbook those pictures, to plan the best birthday party he's ever had!  To just not miss out on a single second of their lives;  and soak up every second of the things that I used to take for granted.  Yes, I know I'm not going to die tomorrow, but the thought that I could possibly only have a few years left continues to lurk in the back of my mind and it urges me to make the very best of every second I have here on God's beautiful earth.

One of the verses that has helped me every day since this new turn of events can be found in Matthew.

~ Matthew 6:34

Take therefore no thought for the morrow:  for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.  Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

This urgency is in a way causing my soul to have so much turmoil.  I want to be here for my family.  I want to be here to cheer my children's successes and encourage them through their failures.  I want to be here to sit in a rocking chair on the front porch with my Landon while we watch our grand children playing in the front yard.  I want these things and there is nothing at all wrong with wanting them.  But Jesus specifically tells us in that verse to quit worrying about these things.  Just enjoy the moment were in, this day that God has given us.

 ~1 Corinthians 10:13

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

God is here with me.  He is faithful to me and has proven so thus far.  Everything I am going through is common.  Others are going through the same thing.  God is not singling me out.  We live in an imperfect world and are therefore affected by the world.  Sometimes bad things happen.  But God tells us in 1 Corinthians that he is faithful to us and he will find a way for us to be able to bear it.  He has a plan for me.  I cant see what's around that corner up ahead, but God can.  He is here beside me every step of the way.

~Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.

So today, I can sit here and say IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.

(The story behind the song)

With Love Amy